Migrate customer's create-insights script

Created by: Joelkw

It would be amazing (for both us and the customer's experience) if we could provide the customer who wrote this very cool "auto-generate insights" script with an updated version that uses our new APIs for the 3.34 release.

This issue tracks it.

Success / completion here is that the script we write accomplishes the same thing. We can also work directly with the customer, but it'd be nice if instead of telling the customer "hey, here's a new API, good luck" we could instead say "hey, we wrote a new API, it's easier to use, and also, here is our best attempt at duplicating your script to help you save migration time for using the script again."

Depending on whether or not regex capture groups are landing in the same release, this issue may be irrelevant (if you no longer need a script).